In case you are wondering what happened to me, it’s simple my daughter passed away …January 29,2020
It’s been a surreal experience when you the parent buries your child. I had wrote a post about being her conservator, it wasn’t easy. It was stressful and there were very tense moments, then a phone call that I needed to come to her place of residents to be told she had passed away. I have moments when I cry then I am dry. I have Moments I laugh at a memory we shared. Then I have uncontrollable tears with the thought that she is really gone. This is not a dream that I will wake up from and go wow … let me tell you about a dream I had…nope. Right now I am not sure what the cause of death is, waiting for Medical Examiners report. In her death my daughter brought people together people I worked with showed up at her funeral people her mother worked with showed up, family showed up my wife, step daughter and her son and my sister in law showed up, friends long time friends showed up, those that didn’t show showed their concern in texts and phone calls it was all touching. My daughter would have been proud to see her child hood friends all together one last time. Her final days were wrecked wit so much pain, she had been in and out the hospital so much it was hard to keep track, that when she died there was a sense of relief that she will not be suffering anymore, yet there are moments when I miss her, moments when I still find myself looking at my phone seeing if she called me and I missed her call, there are moments when I don’t sleep a whole night through. Parents aren’t supposed to bury their children. I miss you Melissa, R.I.P.
Yesterday the world lost a champion, both in the Boxing ring and in life. He wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes and had flaws, but he took a stand for his beliefs and even if he was viewed by many as wrong, he took it all and said true to himself. Below is his statement as to how he would like to be remembered…
How about you? How would you like to be remembered?
I was told once the older you live the more lonely you become,which I thought it was weird so I asked why? The answer I received was simple because the longer you live your friends start dying and your circle gets smaller, well I received news yesterday that one of my co workers past away. Ok he wasn’t a hang out buddy but I considered him a friend. Our lockers were next to each other and I would always say …howdy neighbor! and we both laugh. He spoken Spanish mostly but his English was good enough to hold a conversation and we talked about out individual families and how he was paying for his daughter’s wedding. He was a hard worker and a nice man. He is going to be missed. He is not the first coworker that has died where I worked at but something about this one hurts a little more. Maybe because the feeling of my own mortality creeps up on me or maybe because what I said at the beginning holds true about the circle getting smaller.
I used to think I would be young forever, and for a long time maybe I was, but I never worried about death didn’t mean I didn’t lose people I loved because I did but I never felt mortality creep up on me until about 12, 13 years ago when coworker who was sick on day and left work early never returned to work and was found dead in his home later that same week. We were close friends and close in age and that one shook me and took away to bounce back from. This one, feels weird. He was older than me but we always spoke to each other. He was respectful to everyone, even the loud coworkers. I guess it was more of a surprise to find out no one knew he was sick. No one knew how sick he was until the end.
What I wasn’t told is that the loneliness you feel isn’t the lost of a friend as much as it the lost of a quality person, Santos was a quality person.
Rest in Peace my neighbor.