At some point in life you find that there few things you are obligated to do anymore. If you are divorced then you are obligated to pay either child support or alimony or both. If you have a chronic illness (like diabetes or high blood pressure) you are obligated to do the best you can to take care of your physical health. But when it comes to your adult children and their kids (your grand children are you obligated or do you choose to help? Do you choose to take time out of your life to do what you can to help but not be obligated to do for them?
This is issue I am facing in my face with my adult kids and my grandchildren. I keep coming back to one point …
There is a difference between being obligated to care for them and choosing to care for them. What’s the difference you ask? The difference is choice. I choose to have my grandchildren come stay with me once a month and spend my time with them making it fun , taking them place doing things. Once upon a time ago I raised two kids my kids I was obligated to take care of them and I did to the very best of my ability. But they are adults. One of them has children of their own (my granddaughters)who I love dearly and enjoy spending time with them as much as possible. But lately I see a disturbing trend. That trend is my daughter and her mother seem to think shooting me a text saying it’s my turn to watch my granddaughter is something I have to do or obligated to do. But what if I am not even going to be in town what then? Or simply how about asking me if I am available to watch them on the weekend showing some respect for my time energy and resources instead of assuming that I have to do it? As I mentioned to my daughter …I do this because I choose to, I want to because I love my granddaughters and when they are in my care I take care of them. But not because I have to.
When someone feels you are obligated they treat you different as well, they assume your time, meaning as in this case assuming I have nothing to do or rework my schedule because I have to. Don’t assume anything …or as in the words of the 70’s show “the Odd Couple” When you assume …you make an …of u and me.