Would You Take a Year Off Your Marriage?

I read this article and I wanted to share this with you. This is meant for discussion. What would you do if you were in similar situation? Would you do what this woman did or would you do something else?  In order to know what I am talking about please read the following article in this woman’s words:

“I refuse to go to my grave with no children and only four lovers … If I can’t have one, I must have the other.”

“I reached a point that a lot of us face in midlife where I was about to have an affair. I knew I was going to cheat, or we were going to get a divorce and something had to change. And I figured if I was going to do it, I was going to be fair and give him the freedom. I knew it was a long shot,” she explains.

And now for the terms: Rinaldi rented an apartment where she lived from Monday through Friday. There she was allowed to court as many suitors as she liked. On the weekends, she returned to her husband and they lived like a happily married couple without asking each other what or who they did during the week.

“It wasn’t as strange as you might imagine. I liked it. It was the perfect balance, living on my own during the week and then returning home,” she writes. “We had sex as always and the open marriage spiced things up — at least at first.”

The few conditions were that they had to practice safe sex, could’t sleep with mutual friends, and had to avoid “serious” relationships. Perfectly reasonable clauses, though they were all violated.

Rinaldi, who had been off the market for awhile, began her exploits by posting an ad on nerve.com. Within one day, she had 23 offers.

Her first paramour was a 40-year-old lawyer but she quickly moved on to younger men. She recalls texting her hubby goodnight from a Las Vegas hotel room immediately after a 23-year-old guy left her bed.

Over all, she had 12 encounters. Two were with women, one of them was a threesome.

After her trial year of condoned dalliances was up, however, Rinaldi and her husband struggled to make their marriage work.

“Moving back home full time proved more difficult than I had thought. After you open up a marriage and experience a whole range of sexual variety and aspects of yourself you’ve never had before, it’s hard to put everything back in the box. You’re changed.”

“Suddenly I found an updated version of myself. The person I was at 44 was so much different than the woman I’d been when I was last single at 26. She was less shy, more confident, wilder.”

Mansfield, had changed too. For nearly six months he had been exclusively seeing one woman, who happened to be younger than Rinaldi but she says that didn’t bother her.

She wrote: ‘The turning point was hearing from Alden [one of the men she had slept with]. He sent me an e-mail, out of the blue, several months after the project had come to an end. Before long, we were having sex again. Being with him was exquisite. After reconnecting with Alden and falling deeply in love with him, there was no going back.”

Robin says she’s grateful for the experience of being married to Mansfield. “But for now,” she continues, “For for this part of my life, I believe being with someone who is the most temperamentally like me is where I can learn more.”

Rinaldi has been with Alden (monogamously) for the past five years. And Mansfield, who has since found a new partner, has been a good sport about her book. He said, “You have to write it. If you write it well, it won’t really be about us, it will be about lots of marriages.”

When asked if she’d recommend this experiment to other married women, Rinaldi told REDBOOK. “Not if they want to stay married.”

But her biggest takeaway? “Passion comes in many forms and the passion I was looking for at first, which I imagined I’d get from motherhood, and then I thought I’d get through new lovers, I was able to find in other ways — from friendships with women. From creativity. But the key is to find that passion for yourself and not expect it to all come from your partner.”

Although she’s happy with Alden, Rinaldi says she doesn’t believe in happy endings. “All I can say is life is a process and I’m a larger, more complete, more fulfilled woman now.”

So dear reader, what would you d if you were her? Have you had a similar experience ? what happened?

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10 responses

  1. I need to sit and think about the opening of Pandoras box in this one.

      1. Hey there how are you?

      2. Im good! Disappointed summer is almost over

      3. Yes me too had a lot of fun and did a little. Not looking good forward to it ending

  2. Nope! You’re a team work on it together

    1. Agreed. Yet this woman didn’t see it this way she saw it as an out and she fooled herself in believing this was going to help her marriage …how wrong she was! Believe me this is a cautionary tale for sure.

  3. Love ebbs and flows, it’s what you do when the tide goes out that matters

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