If you don’t respect your own boundaries then no one else will. That is the truth. Regardless of who you are what you are and how old you are. And by boundaries that is your personal space (literally) and your emotional space. Knowing to say no to what will drain both your energies, time and resources is very difficult to do especially when it comes to family, in my case my children, my adult children. When you see someone struggle you want to help, sometimes against my better judgment. There are times I flat out say no and that turns into please, please, please…then finally ok look I’ll only do this …but in reality I am going to do more than I want and all that does is send the signal that even if dad says no he will do it anyway. So I have to change that if I say no it is no period. Why because if I don’t respect my space, my time, and my resources they will not. I have no problem with respecting my children’s space in fact I want more than not to be able to not feel invaded and feel like hey I miss my kids it’s been awhile as opposed to here we go again…so the painful part of saying no is being casted of “You’re treating me like everyone else” or “Why are you turning your back on me” Or why can’t you help me it’s only???” saying no implies a little bit of selfishness on your part …my time is too valuable is how it may come across, because it is valuable, it is valuable to you. You may ended up dropping everything else to do for your adult children and sometime it maybe warranted such as an emergency but, there comes a point that it is time for them to figure some things out for their own and even though it will be painful they will have to struggle along, just like you did.
So respect your boundaries, respect your time, your space, resources and your energy, because if you don’t …no one else will.