What Makes a Family?

Family …what is family or more to the point what has it become? Is family still the traditional Father, Mother,Brother sister…or is it more than that? What makes a family? Is family just the immediate members or does it extend further out? Does blended families count as a family? Does divorce end one family like someone remarrying  starts another? How does our ideas of families fall in line with how we live today?

I am interested to hear what you think on this subject …so feel free to share your thoughts on Family…what is it?

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9 responses

  1. This is a really interesting question. Well first off, I don’t think family is always necessarily blood. And divorce doesn’t necessarily end a family — I’ve seen some people who were not related through blood (just by the marriage) stay very close even though the couple had divorced. For instance, a wife stayed very close with her ex-mother-in-law who was older even though she and her husband divorced. And a step-mother or step-father might stay close with the kids even if the parents get divorced because there is a bond there. Likewise, in the other direction, divorce be the final thing that cuts the strings of a family already torn apart so that they don’t see each other any more, kids included, because they simply were not or are not connected any more due to trauma, betrayal, etc. But in that case they were never really a family, were they? And a marriage may never truly “make” a family. There’s more to it than that. But I digress… I’m sorry.

    Family. I don’t believe in the traditional family though I definitely come from one. I think family is a group of people related by blood or not, as few as two, or as a many as 100 (or more), who are there for each other no matter what. They might fight (and probably often do), but have each others’ backs at the same time. They love each other and care more about each others’ happiness than their own and want to see each other succeed. They support each other and and wouldn’t dream of letting each other down. To me, family means a loving and enduring bond and sometimes you come into it in different ways, not necessarily by birth or marriage.

    I don’t think there is a definitive formula these days for families as the world has changed so much. I do wish, as far as kids were concerned, that parents could afford to have a parent at home more than they can…I think it would benefit the child greatly. But again, that’s sort of off topic I guess. As for raising kids, there are so many who need homes that I believe any and all types of parents should be allowed to adopt so long as they’re good people. Sometimes I wish there was a test before people became parents (as I’m sure you get from reading my blog), and I wish there weren’t so many lazy parents. LOL But in general, I think families come in all shapes and sizes and I think that’s okay.

    Sorry if I rambled…I probably should’ve thought my answer through before putting it down! But I hope you get the idea of what I’m trying to say. 😀

    1. I get your point. I posed the question and wrote the entry to get thoughts so you were on topic all the way. You are correct family comes in all shapes as ways that were not so common like today. I remarried I. June and both my wife and I have adult kids each from previous marriage and we each have grandkids as well so we have a family that’s blended one way. But the two of us are family as well.

      1. Congrats on the marriage! I think it’s good that you have a blended family. I’ve seen some people remarry but the people never mesh (the kids and all I mean) so they never really become a family if you know what I mean, not really.

      2. I know what you mean. My daughter loves my wife. We are blessed that all our kids are adults so it’s not like I am replacing their dad or she is replacing my ex wife. What really worked for us is that our you nested daughters are alot alike so it makes easier to deal with them lol.

      3. That’s great, I’m glad to hear it!

    2. I think the question what makes a family becomes even more important in today’s world. It is so much different from how I grew up. So the question gets people talking and thinking. Thanking for sharing your thoughts.

    3. I meant thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  2. I think this might sound like a slogan but I really think that love makes a family. Deep, responsible love, the one that is ready not to fade out with the first rain. Also, I know that the family in which I grew up, a family of a divorced mother and one divorced grandmother was very much a real family. They gave me love and support, they educated me and I grew into one lucky woman who has found the love of her life….31 years ago.
    I am reading Andrew Solomon’s book ( Far from the Tree…) and I am very impressed how many shapes and solutions lead to happy families. I don’t see the traditional family of one man+one woman to be a mandatory/foul proof solution. I think that families are facing a revolution on what consists their composition but the love, respect, mutual support will always be defining them.

    1. Today’s families are definitely more challenged than before and are defined differently.For sure. Good comment and very thought provoking.

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